My theory on how I got MS

My exhusband gave it to me!!! June 28th, 2001, I kicked my husband out, because he wouldn't get a job. The next day at work, I was standing there talking to a client and all on a sudden my left side went numb and I felt really strange, I must have looked odd to, because the client asked "Are you O.K.? I said "hum...I don't know?" After she left I started staggering all over and couldn't hardly pick up me feet to walk. I told my boss something is very wrong, I'm going to finish my work (I still had 2 dogs to finish grooming) and then I need to go home. I barely finished those dogs and went home, I laid down on the sofa, and couldn't get back up, no energy what so ever . I literally crawled to the bathroom to go!

The next day I called in sick for the 1st time in almost 7 years of working at my job. A friend came over and drove me to my doctor, my regular GP wasn't in that day, so I saw someone different. I was convinced I had a virus, or a stroke, which all he could harp on was that I smoked, urghhhh!!! I told him, look I know smoking is bad, but I just got separated yesterday and I feel very bad right now. I thought it must be my sinuses, so doctor gives me antibiotics and prednisone and sent me home. I rested that day and even called in sick for the next day, which was going to be Saturday. By Monday I went back to work, still feeling pretty bad, and still numb, but functioning. I figured the antibiotics were kicking in!! Who knew it was the prednisone!!

I still kept thinking it was sinuses, something pressing on my brain causing the numbness, and the burning eyes were just part of the virus too. Actually I thought all these strange things were sinuses. With in a couple of days I decided I needed to sweat this thing out, so I went out in 100 degree heat and mowed my grass. I thought I would die!!!!! Oh yeah, BTW, it didn't work!

After the antibiotics and prednisone were gone, I started falling down and bouncing into walls, finally one morning on my way to work, my car kept trying to run off the road, I couldn't figure out why, but I decided I was having equilibrium problems. I got to work and decided to run up to my doctor to see if he could do something about these sinus problems again. My regular GP was there, thank God for that, so I told him all the things that have been going on for a month now, he checked my sinuses and said they're clear, those symptoms sound like MS, I was floored!!!!!! I managed to keep from crying, until I got back in my car to go back to work.

Like everyone else, I had heard of the disease but really didn't know anything about it, but I knew it was a very bad thing!!! After work I went home and decided I wouldn't research until I got another opinion. I tried to take a nap, but I just HAD TO KNOW about MS. I got on the puter and looked it up, and went to symptoms, As I was going down the list, I said, yep, this is what I have, I know it!!

Because of the lack of insurance, I went to county hospital, and found out nothing, including that I didn't qualify for financial help with the MRI. I ended up paying $1500 dollars for an MRI, which made it official, the date then was August 30,2001.

The more research I did, the more I thought, well this won't be too bad, go in to remission, and I'll be fine. I stayed on prednisone for 4 months, I quit falling down and didn't run into walls like bumper cars, but the strange feelings and numbness were still there. Then I went to a support group meeting after 2 months of dx. That's when I first found out this IS remission!!!! I was devastated! I was thinking I want to end it all, I can't live this way for the rest of my life!!!! If it weren't for my golden, Oliver, I don't know if I would be here right now. I could write everyone and explain and say I'm sorry, but he would have never understand, so I continued on.

My Dr. referred my to a great nuero, who got me into the rebif trails in Dec. 2001. Not having ins. is a big problem with MS. After being on the drug for 12 weeks I noticed I went from sleeping 14 hours a day to sleeping 7 hours, no naps!! I also noticed some of the numbness was getting not as bad.

During the first year of dx, I went through all the stages, depression, denial, bargaining, why me, and all the other ones too, I think there are twelve. Then finally, after about a year, now finally acceptance and peace.

In some way, I think MS was a kind of blessing in disguise. I have made some really good friends, found out who my friends really are, really try to enjoy life and appreciate everything about it, have figured out what's really important in life, and don't take things for granted either. Before MS, I considered myself a pessimist, now I'm a different optimist!!! I have learned to ask for help, change a few things to make things easier for me to do, and get organized.

I believe there are three things you can do to keep yourself healthier longer, stay out of the heat, stay positive, and keep a sense of humor!!!!

The way that I look at it now is, I get all the best parking, and I can take my dog anyway I go now.. TOOO COOOL!!!!!



Laurie